Generating Powerful Results From Team Conflict

Teams frequently struggle with conflict. They aren’t prepared to lead and manage through it. This problem has significant emotional and financial implications, including decreased organizational innovation, reduced employee engagement, and an inability to quickly solve problems. Failure to address conflict in a healthy manner often leads to missed opportunities for robust decision-making and the development of strong team cohesion.

Why do we struggle with conflict?

Conflict often induces stress, intensifying emotional reactions that may be challenging to manage. I've experienced instances in team meetings where I avoided participating in heated discussions to prevent escalating tensions. There were other meetings when emotions took over, leading me to say things impulsively. I have even walked out of meetings in anger, and I've raised my voice in frustration. Afterwards, I felt so much shame and embarrassment from my inappropriate and irrational behavior – reason I dislike conflict. However, rather than outright condemning these actions, let’s delve into the scientific explanations behind our irrational behaviors during conflicts.

Our Brains During Conflict.

The common negative responses to conflict are both normal and predictable. Numerous resources online, including articles by reputable neuroscientists, delve into the intricate brain processes during conflicts. In simple terms, when we sense a potential rift in a relationship (as we might during an argument or spirited discussion), our brain interprets it as a real danger, triggering a response to prepare the body to respond to the situation. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are released, leading to reflexive behaviors akin to pulling your hand away from a hot stove. If your hand is actually near a hot stove, this is great; but our brain does not differentiate between actual physical threats and emotional/intellectual threats like those that happen during conflict. The stress hormones that are triggered make it extremely difficult to think clearly and act rationally. This is why, during conflict, colleagues may respond by screaming, yelling, going silent (“freeze”), physically shaking, or walking out. This happens so fast; and afterwards, when the effects of the hormones wear off, and the thinking part of the brain kicks in, there are usually feelings of embarrassment, shame, and guilt due to the awkwardness and inappropriateness of the reaction.

Emotions during conflict are okay; trust is key.

Understanding what happens to the body physically during conflict empowers us to manage ourselves and empathize with our team members’ emotional responses. We can not only work to manage our stress responses during conflict, but we can also be more empathetic to others as they work on theirs. In The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Patrick Lencioni writes,

In the context of building a team, trust is the confidence among team members that their peers’ intentions are good, and that there is no reason to be protective or careful around the group. In essence, teammates must get comfortable being vulnerable with one another.

If we all work from a place of good intentions, everyone is safe to make themselves vulnerable to one another. We can succumb to stress responses and know that our team understands and supports us. Vulnerabilities can also include admitting mistakes, asking for help, sharing our interpersonal shortcomings and skill deficiencies. The team trusts that vulnerabilities will not be used against them.

The rewards are worth the effort.

This is difficult but rewarding work. Committing to engage in vulnerability-based trust and productive conflict takes effort and practice. Over time, you’ll see positive change. Your team meetings will be livelier and more interesting. You’ll hear new ideas and get opinions from all team members. Problems will be solved quicker, and politics will be minimized. Your efforts will result in a healthy workplace culture that thrives on diverse perspectives, collaborative problem-solving, and leveraging conflict for success. It leads to clarity around issues, leading to more effective decision making and team cohesion.

Building stronger, more effective teams is my passion and expertise. To learn more about creating stronger teams in your organization, contact me for a free consultation.